Fatherhood

People sometimes say I will make a good father. Probably they are trying to be nice. What exactly, after all, is a good parent?

Is it that the child survives to adulthood? No parent holds that control. Is it that the child thinks his or her parent good? Children would dart into streets and soil themselves for years if left to their versions of good.

Is it that the child transitions into a functioning member of society? Is it that the child is loved? Does anyone actually know, or are flattering statements only another way of skirting cluelessness and avoiding worry?

Truth is, people tell me I am a pretty good guy, too. A pretty good son, worker, writer, thinker, teacher--I have heard them all. Yet I know better. I know more of myself than to believe these half-truths.

I am only anything worthwhile at all when I truly realize just how hopeless a son, a thinker, a teacher or a writer I am. Only then do I rely on a strength beyond my own.

So if these people who say I will be a good father are to be proven right, I would do well to remember as much.