Storychaser

Anna Nicole Smith? Did I miss something? Anna Nicole Smith?

For several weeks, every media outlet short of the Ham Radio Operators Guild breaks in with the latest news and startling information on Anna Nicole Smith. Being the career journalist that I am, my only logical assumption is that I have missed some boat entirely.

Did she win a Nobel Prize and no one told me? Which terminal disease exactly did she cure? Now I will admit that, prior to these last few weeks, I knew about as much about Anna Nicole Smith as rapid weight loss or octogenarian nuptials. And I must admit that I know little more now, save that every television channel between ESPN and the scrolling abyss that tells me when Sportscenter next airs on ESPN remains infatuated with the woman.

A Pulitzer Prize winner dies in an upscale New York apartment, and every newspaper in America runs a four inch box in its “deaths of national note” section, hidden away on some printed page no right-minded person could find with a magnifying glass and flashlight. A noted philanthropist dies penniless from the millions of dollars spending themselves on better causes elsewhere, and her sole survivor spends an hour listening to the local editor explaining why her paragraph never made the “deaths of national note” section.

But Anna Nicole Smith is another matter. Taking her proper place among such hallmarks of humanity—the Berlin Wall, Watergate, the Kennedy assassination—Anna Nicole Smith lights up television screens and Nielson Ratings like a Las Vegas midnight. Is anyone else asking why?

This country is at war. Presidential candidates are gearing up for an election that will choose sides throughout a country divided. Even a half hour on melting ice caps would be welcomed at this point. But Anna Nicole Smith?

Some things, evidently, are not to be understood. On behalf of my profession, our apologies for yet another.

Yes and No

Jesus said let your yes be yes and your no, no. He said it to say that swearing by just about anything is pointless.

It always seemed such an ideal statement. If every person said yes and meant yes or said no and meant no, then yes, there would be no further need for swearing. Yet this world is not that world. In this place, full of lies and willing deceit, an honest person needs to convey his true faithfulness.

Recently, though, an idea came. For the true follower of Christ, perhaps there is more to this concept of yes and no. The disciple is called to be honest, full of integrity and grace. Yet people stumble. Without exception, they stumble. Jesus knew this certainty well, so He taught to it.

If a believer is asked where he was or what he was doing and he responds with some wildly fabricated tale, what Jesus said makes little difference. The sincerity of faith may itself be questioned. Even if Jesus wanted to make a difference in this situation, one wonders if He could.

Yet what of a believer asked a question of expectation? If he is specifically asked if he was where he should have been, knowing wholeheartedly that he was not, how simple is the response? Yes. As much deceit as the teller of tales, yet so much easier and, seemingly, so much sweeter. For this reason Jesus said it—guard even your yes and your no. Sometimes even one such stone can tumble an entire house of integrity. Sometimes, it can do far, far worse.

Paper and Stones

A baby is born, a man married and another dead, all on the same day. They are listed there on the same page of the local newspaper. A birth, evidently, is no more like a crossword than a death. Engagement announcements and silver anniversaries have plenty in common with death too, at least more than with editorials and advice columns. At least we are told so.

If a career in journalism teaches anything it is not to read too much into a page of print, but still there are questions here in need of answers. Why must a new parent, spending his life away two quarters at a time to see his son’s name printed for the first time, be reminded of the coming conclusion? Why must a couple greeting the golden years of their own time together, their own union, read on until their page is finished?

Perhaps the reasoning is simple. Maybe all the milestones are lumped together along the same page to make room for more pressing stories. Knowing something of milestones, though, the idea may need to be reconsidered. Milestones gathered together and left to themselves lead a path to nowhere in particular, nowhere worth going. It happens, though. It happens every day.